13th June 2012 - in Kathmandu for 21 days. Thats 3 weeks! What have I learnt, if anything at all? :)

- When you come to a new place, its a blank slate. You have no security blanket of a good reputation in the background, or what you have done in the past, none of that is written on your face when you meet strangers. All that you carry with you is what you can do, your ability to demonstrate love, and connect with another human being as a human being. Thats it. I'm learning everyday about the ability to form connections with another beating human heart, that crosses all barriers of language, religion, nationality, and viewpoints.

- Im deeply insecure in a new place. When I had to travel by the bus, my fear and insecurity was almost bursting out of my body, for all to see. My sense of confusion was written all over my face. But I surrendered to the universe, and fell back on what we all do at our most basic times of need; another human being. And I found an innocent 16 yr old boy, whose life ambition is to be an engineer, he had a clean, open face and a fresh, red tikka on his forehead from the morning's puja and was traveling with his father to visit his aunt. We connected along the bus ride and even though we may never see each other again, I think of Sarkar fondly. He helped me, a wild eyed, crazy foreigner who looks like a Nepali.

- Nothing that I truly want ever happens. And usually, exactly what Im hoping won't happen, will magically occur. The first few days I realised this, it brought up a slew of negative emotions ranging from anger, resistance, to self-pity and dollops of homesickness. But today as I tried to sit in meditation and tame my wild mind, I realised no force is effective. No control is ever real. And all I can do is surrender to what is. The reality of the moment. It allows me to dig into the deepest, coolest reserves of patience and resilience that hide within the well of my being, and when I can still myself, beautiful things always happen.

- I can see life in two ways; either everything that happens is ordinary, or its all entirely magical. I choose the latter. When Im feeling jaded, rundown, frustrated, not even the sight of Satyam (who Ive become soooooo fond of) can bring forth excitement in my heart. Not even Akki, Lucky can make my heart beat in happiness. Not even the sight of the beautiful, majestic mountains can soothe my tempestuous soul. But when Im equanimous, surrendered and open to reality as it manifests, everything that happens external appears to be a miracle. I definitely prefer that state :)

Well, here goes nothing. My first ever blog post. Its going to be all over the place because that's how my thoughts are at the moment.
Im in Kathmandu. Nepal. The land of the tallest mountain range in the world. The only ex-Hindu kingdom on this earth. The place where 104 different ethnic groups have resided in harmony and peace until very recently. The country many would call the only surviving Shangri La. I dreamt of being here since i was little, as I would gaze through images of vast expanses of snowy mountains and little maroon robed monks playing football in isolated monasteries balancing at the precipice of a cliff. And now that Im here, after nearly 2 weeks, it still has not sunk in.

Today I went for a walk with Saina, Sony's 11 year old cousin and we set out with adventure on our minds. As we walked, our feet led down a path both of us had never been down before, and we ended up at the edge of a hilly place, with a narrow pathway that had long stems of green corn growing on either sides. At the distance, against the horizon, were the majestic hills and behind them a setting sun. We both gasped in delight. How could anyone ever be unhappy if they were to look at that sight everyday of their lives? I fell in love with this beautiful planet all over again :)

After a moment of standing there in awe, both of us ran down the narrow, crumbly pathway and ended up at a ledge that seemed to look over the entire Kathmandu. Faraway, we even spotted a temple tucked into a cliff, and nestled in thick green trees. We took photos there, laughed and inhaled all the beauty surrounding us. Saina has lived in this area for ages but told me she had never been here before! She was so excited and her joy bubbled into me and it was all in all a very happy walk :)

I don't understand people who are always unhappy with life. There is so much to love, see, enjoy, take in, acknowledge, appreciate and live for! There is pain, suffering and misery, but we live on such a beautiful, colorful planet that it can take some of that pain away to gaze into the pure melting eyes of a puppy or sit beside a tree and wonder at how those roots became so strong from a tiny fragile sapling, or mountains in their glory and majesty, lit up by the rays of setting sun.

But don't get me wrong, its not all adventure and beauty here. There is so much of dirt, pain, raw human suffering here that I also need to write about.

I came to Kathmandu with the desire to learn how to serve. Not myself, not my cunning little ego, but serve our interconnected web of life. Serve all beings with a heart full of love, compassion and joy. The journey isn't as easy as I thought it might be. My ego hurts everyday. Every time a kind act is not acknowledged, the ego winces in pain. Every time I think of uncertainty, where will I live, what job will I get, will I even get one, being amidst strangers in a strange culture, my instinct is to worry, fear and react. Every time I choose the path of trust, trust in the force that kept me healthy for 9 months in mom's womb, that guided me my entire life, that ensured that I do my Masters when there wasn't a glimmer of possibility of it ever happening, every time I remember that truth and trust that force again, life is just a ball. :) Its simple and flowing.

May I remember. And trust.

First post! Yaay! I finally got down to starting a blog. Lets see how this goes and how long it lasts..